Dear John,
I hear you’ll be leaving soon,
going away to never return. why shouldn’t you?
this place has nothing for you,
but the sad memories of a stupid girl who didn’t know what she wanted and broke your heart
before she realized she should have kept it.
who kept searching for what she never knew, never found.
I should hold my smile, wave as i watch you leave,
but my stubborn heart wont let me.
after all that has changed, from little girl to big girl;
timid girl to confident, brave girl; 17 to 23;
it is still you. still you that makes me laugh,
makes me want to dance,
makes me fantasize about starry nights in a man’s arms. . . .
still you that makes me a woman, makes me a little girl.

You deserve someone better, i was never good enough.
i know i should leave you alone, let you be,
but with my stupid, stubborn heart, i swear i do love you,
like chocolate and champagne on a rainy day,
like the cry of a newborn baby,
like a movie that i’d watch every single day.

i love you more than me, more than you,
more than anything and everything.
i love you so much it breaks my heart.

I don’t expect you to forgive me,
am sure your heart is too tired already.
I just want you, before you get on that ship to smile at me.
your beautiful, beautiful smile that i have missed for so long.
and maybe i can tell myself that you still love me,
after all said and done, still think of me.
If i pray hard enough, you may even come back to me,
with arms open wide and i’d run to you,
laughing and crying ‘cos i know i’d have it all.
to love and be loved.
Yours forever.


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